In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize