operation have a gay friend backfired
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
God I need to hump something, right now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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