? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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