your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She even gives head with a lisp.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
