Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
