you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
