i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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