i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
