So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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