she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
