Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize