You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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