some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
