Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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