Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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