i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
