is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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