Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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