id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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