I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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