Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
