i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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