Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I FOUND THE LEGS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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