yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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