I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Success! We fucked roommates!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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