Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize