There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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