She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
