are you still at the devil's house?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
