you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
