I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
