Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
