One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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