So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize