I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize