After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize