I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
