She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
