My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
