Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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