I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
