Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
