they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
