i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
