similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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