seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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