you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
