Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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