So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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