the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I need moral support for this bender
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
