She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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