I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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