i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is Oprah even human
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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