Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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