maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
