When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
