he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
