Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
