Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
